Vile Vermin

Saturday, as I'm sure I've told you before, is my clean the house day. You know, the-get-the-toothbrush-out-and-clean-the-crevices type cleaning day. Lately though, it's been more of an I'm-lucky-to-get-the-vacuum-out type cleaning. Oh well, it's just me and Hank so technically I really only need to toothbrush clean once a month or so. 

I had a little surprise as I was cleaning the floor in our bedroom yesterday. The window shade was up, the sky was a dreary shade of gray, the cows were moving past the house, I paused for a moment to watch the cows (boy were they acting goofy!) and I happened to see some fresh mounds of dirt. Mounds of dirt equal one of two things, gofers or moles. I hate them both. Closer inspection confirmed that it was a gofer mound. 

I stood there for a moment and silently cursed the rodent, wondering how long it had been doing its dirty deed; there where additional mounds in a nice neat row to the right of this mound.

He'd been as busy as his oversized cuz the beaver. Grrr.

Just as I was about to turn away and get back to the business of cleaning the floor, I saw the earth move. The dang gofer was still at work.

I was oh so tempted to grab one of Hank's shotguns/rifles/handguns and blow the vermin out of its hole, the only thing stopping me was that I don't know where Hank keeps the ammo (don't let any nefarious individuals know this, I might have a problem should one break in). And don't go gettin' all 'oh but it's so cute' on me. Between him and his other cuz the mole, I have an underground Interstate system that has made my backyard a dangerous place to tread. 

On the way home from work on Friday, I heard a commercial for a local exterminator that guarantees to get rid of moles and gofers (Karma?). I momentarily thought about looking up the phone number yesterday, until the closing scene of Caddyshack started playing in my mind. I need my Addie back, she'd fix that gofer. Any suggestions? I'm open to anything, short of a Bill Murray exterminator.


  1. I have NEVER seen a gopher!! I can't believe you caught him on camera! Of course we had them everywhere growing up but I never actually saw the creature itself. We did this: Bought gopher poison (Mom put it in a coffee can to carry around), take a spoon and some newspaper. Go around to the mounds and dig down a little until you find the tunnel. Spoon some poison down into the tunnel. Wad up some newspaper and put it between you and the poison to keep the dirt from covering it up when you push the dirt back down over the tunnel. Good luck!!

  2. Thanks Liz! I will give this a try, I'm ready to be rid of these vile little critters!

  3. No on the poison please. If it dies above ground and a hawk or dog or cat eats it they will die too!!!!

  4. I've never seen one of those - only stepped in their holes!! I'm so impressed you caught one on camera. I have no suggestions though as to how you get rid of them... in Louisiana they had Pine Snakes that did the trick. :)