One of the Pitfalls of Growing Old

I'm not completely sure of the demographics of those of you who read these random thoughts. My hunch is that most of you are under thirty five. I'm fifty five, or is it fifty four? Hold on while I do the math. Let's see, I was born in 1957 it's now 2011, 2011 minus 1957, borrow from the one, eleven minus seven equal four, borrow again, ten take away five is five, so..I'm fifty four. Whew. Glad that's over.

No, the pitfall is not that I can't remember my age. I've had that problem for a long time. I always think I'm one year older than I really am. Don't ask me why because I can't give you a rational explanation.

My lamentation about growing old is this: I can no longer wear stiletto heels. Sigh. 

There was a time when I wore them and platform shoes. Really high platform shoes. I even danced the night away in those platform shoes. Sigh.

I came to this rather sad realization a couple of weeks ago. I was doing a little online shopping for our recent trip to Utah (had to look my best for Rocket Man's special day, you know) and I came across some of the most gorgeous, dare I say sexy, pair of heels. I had. to. have. them. They were even on sale. They had my size! The stars were all aligned in whatever the correct alignment is suppose to be when they are aligned for good fortune! I had the funds to buy them! 

I ordered them! 

I waited with bated breath!

Hank brought them home, I have all my purchased delivered to his work because, well, I just do. Anyway, I was so excited to get them! I tore into the package and pulled these little beauties out.

I put them on, they fit like a glove.

I tried to walk in them. (Insert needle scratching record here. Oh, wait some of you don't know what that sounds like. Uh, insert sound of car braking and crashing here.)It was no bueno, as my student's like to say.

Oh, I tried, believe me I tried to walk in them, but as Jack Lemon said to Tony Curtis in Some Like It Hot, I just don't have the right equipment anymore. Sigh.

What is it with getting old that makes walking in anything higher than two inches impossible? Is it the altitude that causes our brains to loose oxygen? Is it the atrophied stiletto muscles? Is it the perfectly aligned stars way of tell you 'sister, you're too old for these'? 

I tried to convince myself to keep them 'Maybe you're just having an off day.' 'Why don't you get back on the exercise wagon and strengthen those quads and then you might be able to walk in these sexy little numbers.' Yeah, like that was going to happen. (Shhh, no comments on getting back on the wagon, I know I need to, and I of these days.)

In the end, I sent them back. Sigh. I knew that my stiletto walking days were over. It's really a depressing realization, you know. Once your ability to walk in stilettos is gone, it's all down hill from there. 

Should I've kept them? Should I order them again? I checked, they still have my size in stock. Hmmmm....


  1. Love those! Where did you find them? I think you should have kept them.....strengthen those quads and rock them!

  2. I'm contemplating ordering them again and working on the quads! I found them at Talbots...they still have them so check them out, they might have your size :)

  3. If it makes you feel better, I've never been able to walk in anything higher than two inches. Two inches are a bit much sometimes.

  4. My arches hurt just looking at those beauties. I agree, getting old sucks!